Chicago’s Dirty Laundry Played Out in Baseball: North v. South, Cubs v. Sox

In America, it is a story as old as dirt.  The North v. the South, the Union versus the Confederacy, abolitionists versus slave holders, industrialism versus agrarianism.  In Chicago, it’s the northside Cubs and the southside White Sox acting as totems of geographical allegiance.

With the Chicago Cubs advancing to the World Series for the first time since 1945, this crosstown rivalry has reached a crescendo in recent days. Cubs fans are a bit stunned and feeling very, very celebratory, gearing up for their games of a lifetime, or as history proves, several lifetimes.  Sox fans are either quietly supportive, trash talking, or increasingly angry as their own World Series victory (Hello, 2005!) seems to be entering the footnotes of Chicago history.

Full disclosure, I am not a baseball fan, or any kind of sports fan, actually.  I do have some skin in this game, though, as I am a lifelong Chicagoan.  I spent my first 22 years living in the south suburbs, moving to Chicago’s northside the first chance I got after college and have called a series of northside neighborhoods home for the past 25 years.  I am fond of saying that you can take the girl out of the southside, but you can never take the southside out of the girl.

I credit my southside roots for my scrappy nature, never backing down from a debate, work ethic, and love of social justice and bargains (not necessarily in that order).  My grandparents were all immigrants, like so many other southsiders, and worked as steel workers and domestics.  I grew up in the land of landfills, where, when the wind was blowing just so, you could smell the stench of north side garbage being incinerated a few miles from our front door.  More than a few southsiders have some pretty sizeable chips on their shoulder, and for good reason.

A lot of this is being played out in the news and social media right now. These are legitimate concerns, given that so many national media outlets seem intent on putting forth the impression that Chicago only has one beloved ball club and they are called the Cubs.  Yesterday, on freaking ESPN no less, a graphic was used detailing Chicago’s ten national sports championships since 1965.  There were six for the Bulls, three for the Blackhawks, and one for the Bears.  Ummmm . . . yeah, no mention of the 2005 White Sox World Series winners.  Come on, guys.  That’s either nasty or lazy, but either way, it ain’t right.

You see, that kind of bias makes southsiders feel invisible, less than, unworthy.  Kind of like a local basket of deplorables, which is how they are perceived by more than a few northsiders.   That chip on the shoulder of many southsiders, while unfortunate and unattractive, was earned honestly.

It’s interesting to me that a national championship is leading to Chicago airing out its dirty laundry for all of Facebook to see.  There is a great divide in Chicago that runs far deeper than what baseball team you root for.  This northside/southside paradigm is real and deeply rooted.  And, like our current presidential election, it is bringing out the ugly in a lot of folks.

cubs-sox-logo-mashup

One childhood friend described getting a series of texts from Cubs fans rubbing in their pennant win, knowing she is a Sox fan. Another childhood neighbor described flying the W flag at half staff, a mandate from his southside wife.  More than a few Cubs fans have speculated to me that the reason Sox fans seem so obsessed with the Cubs is because the southside and Sox fans don’t even register or exist on the radar of your average northsider.

To me, it keeps coming back to that idea of being invisible and unrecognized.  It never feels good, so why would baseball be any different? Even if every media outlet across this great land of ours neglects to mention that Chicago enjoyed a World Series title eleven years ago in the form of a Sox win, that can’t erase the reality of their championship win.  The Chicago White Sox and their fans brought a title home.  Cubs fans then, like Sox fans now, might not have celebrated along, though surely some did cross fan lines to celebrate their city.

I’m told that sports rivalries are fun and longstanding and not going anywhere.  That’s cool.  There’s no need for a kumbaya moment here, but a little empathy goes a long way.  Wouldn’t it be grand if all you northside Cubs fans honored the team a few miles to your south, at least by recognizing their existence?  And wouldn’t it be swell if southside Sox fans didn’t feel the need to taunt and denigrate a team that is on the cusp of making history?

Find the common denominator.  It’s baseball, folks.  And Chicago.  It’s more, of course.  It’s an entrenched history of the haves and the have nots.  It’s a pattern of systemic devaluing of all things that happen to exist below Roosevelt Road.  It’s industry and manufacturing, the ruins of abandoned steel mills and undeveloped land, housing projects and white flight juxtaposed against lakefront mansions and million dollar condos, widespread segregation, disparity in public education, and any lack of outrage when people of color are shot and shot and shot and shot.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if baseball could cross that divide rather than add to it?  It’s possible, I think, but then again, I am fond of choosing hope.  As the Cubs go into game one tonight, whether or not you’re a fan, think about what a W could mean for Chicago, not just for northsiders or Cubs fans.  A win is a win for our city.  Or, so says this naive non-baseball fan with southside roots and northside address.

The Little Louis CK That Lives On My Shoulder

A couple of weeks ago my husband surprised me with tickets to see Louis CK.  It was a birthday gift and a rare night out for the two of us.  Just two middle aged folks out on the town hoping for a few laughs.  What could possibly go wrong?

HA HA HA HA HA!  Have you ever heard Louis CK’s humor?  It is heavy as hell.  The man somehow manages to make suicide, depression, anxiety, divorce, isolation, and certain doom funny.  I spent the evening cackling and saying, “OH MY GOD!” to no one in particular, the exclamation to the good Lord above being non-voluntary, as I simply couldn’t believe I was laughing at what I was laughing at.

Was it shame?  Was it discomfort?  Was it fear?  Seriously — I left that theater wondering what it was about me that allowed me to laugh at a little old lady named Rose, recently widowed after 50+ years of marriage, all alone in the world after the death of her beloved — Rose being one of the characters Louis used to poke fun at all of humanity.

A day later it hit me.  I laughed because I have a little Louis CK who lives on my shoulder.  His voice is there, telling me life sucks and that love is an illusion.  Sometimes the voice is loud, sometimes it is a whisper, but it is there, always.

Photoshopping courtesy of Mary Tyler Dad.
Photoshopping courtesy of Mary Tyler Dad.

When I am honest with myself, as Louis CK challenges all of us to do, I can admit that, yes, I wonder what exactly the point is of any of it.  I’m not religious, so the whole God thing is lost on me.  I married an atheist who pretty much believes that when we’re done, we’re done.  There is no promise of happy reunions for either of us.  The concept of a happy heaven where all my dearly departed beloveds sit down to a celestial family dinner, all together now!, isn’t really something I believe in, despite hoping for it.

What a bummer.  Trust me, I know.

Topping all of this Louis CK angst off was that bright and early the next morning, I had committed to talking to a group of social work grad students for a seminar on finding meaning in loss.  Pffft.  Seriously, Louis CK could not have written a better joke than me organizing my thoughts on surviving the loss of my four year old daughter to cancer after listening to his set.

But, and here’s the kicker, I did survive.  I am surviving.  Survival is a verb, yo, something I have to commit to each and every day. And, I would venture a guess, that Louis CK would say that surviving is what all of us are trying our best to do.  Regardless of what our burdens are, mine happens to be the death of a lot of people I love dearly with a sprinkling of mental illness for flavor, we are working hard to show up and not disappoint those who need us.

Louis CK uses humor to cope.  It works for him.  Sometimes, it works for me, too.  Truth be told, I am grateful for that little hilarious CK that sits there, whispering in my ear.  For all of his jokes about human depravity, and the pointlessness of it all, the man is quite perceptive to the beauty that surrounds us.

If you watch his FX show, Louis, you will see that for every joke about sagging balls and being fat, there is some gorgeous shot that makes a New York subway and all its weary inhabitants look like the most profoundly moving symphony you have ever seen.

Life is beautiful.  It’s cruel and meaningless, sure, but damn, it is so very beautiful, too.  Louis CK and I know this, which is how and why we can laugh.

 

 

How Are You Celebrating World Mental Health Day?

WOOT WOOT!  Blow those balloons, throw that confetti, bake those cupcakes, because today is World Mental Health Day.  My question is, how are you going to celebrate?  Seriously.  How are you going to celebrate?

I celebrated by making a couple of phone calls to friends.  Talking on the phone is something I generally don’t like.  It’s so 2001, you know?  What with texts and messaging, much of my communication these days is restricted to a few letters on a screen.  It’s easier that way — quicker, efficient, simple.  Phone calls require effort and a level of mental and emotional commitment that I don’t always have to give on many days.

But today, I needed to connect.  For my mental health.  To quiet the sadness and doubt and loneliness and anger I was feeling after a particularly bad weekend (word to the wise, strongly consider any inclination to go into local school governance — parents be crazy when it comes to their kid’s school).  So, yes, I celebrated by indulging in two rather long and therapeutic conversations with fellow parents from the school who also felt the need to reach out and connect.

The beauty is, I feel better after those calls.  My thoughts are less damning, my feelings less intense.  Sharing what was inside — the thoughts and feelings that were bubbling up and dangerously morphing into a need to hibernate, retreat, and withdraw, helped me cope.

first-aid

The theme of this year’s World Mental Health Day is “Dignity in mental health — psychological and mental health first aid for all.”  A mental triage, if you will.  I get it.  When I don’t do triage on my mental health, a blue day is likely to turn into a string of blue days, which, soon enough, is hard to ignore as an episode of depression.

Our mental health needs first aid, which is really just triage and tending to, just as our physical body does.  When we fall down as children and get a scrape, there are tears and blood.  Mom or Dad provides the first aid needed to keep that scrape from turning into an infection. They soothe the child, too, by providing care, reassurance, and empathy for the fear that often results from a fall or scrape.  A kiss and a Band-Aid are frequently all you need to make things better as a child.

As adults, we are often responsible for providing our own first aid.  And don’t ever kid yourself, there are consequences to ignoring our emergent health needs — either physical or mental.  On this World Mental Health Day, I would encourage you to tend to your own mental health in some way.  Do some quick triage and see what it is that you need.

For more information of World Mental Health Day, click HERE.  

See how the royals celebrate World Mental Health Day by clicking HERE.