Closing Lake Shore Drive: When the Threat of Terrorism Is Close to Home

The reason terrorism works, and make no bones about it, it does work, is that it creates fear and chaos in day-to-day life.  Things that should be normal, routine, easy are majorly impacted by terrorism.  Subways in London, cafes in Israel, finish lines in Boston, office towers in New York City.  These are all places that average normal citizens populate, which is what makes them attractive targets for terrorists.  Fiddling with routine, replacing the hum drum with fear is a terrorists’ trade.

Just about an hour ago, driving north on Lake Shore Drive, I came upon, quite suddenly, a veritable parking lot of traffic.  No one was moving.  The south bound lanes were empty and the north bound lanes were stopped.  At first I thought it was Cubs’ traffic, but that didn’t make any sense.  This was only the bottom of the 7th and the game was still in progress.  In New York.  I flipped on the AM radio to see what was happening, but only after complaining about baseball and traffic on Facebook.

Watching news develop outside my car window.
Watching news develop outside my car window.

Well, something was happening.  Suspicious packages had been found strewn about Lake Shore Drive, Chicago’s pristine north/south thoroughfare.

We now live in a culture that not only fears suspicious packages, but drops everything, and I mean everything, to investigate them.  This is our world now, thanks to terrorism.  Those terrorists must be proud of themselves.

As I sat in my car, originally just frustrated by the idea of traffic, I soon became all too aware of how close we all live to terrorism these days.  The radio reports informed me of those suspicious packages, Lake Shore Drive’s closure, and that robots had been brought in to handle the packages before humans were put in harm’s way.

This is the stuff I watch in movies or on news clips, but here it all was unfolding literally outside my car window.  Robots to deal with IEDs are a strategy used in Iraq, not my beloved Lake Shore Drive in Chicago.

I was afraid, even for a moment, I was afraid.  My baby was in the back seat.  My husband and older son were in two different places.  We were separated and I was afraid.

That is how terrorism works.  Fear is its currency.

Right now I am back in my living room, typing away at my writing table, reflecting about the potential for something scary that could have happened, but didn’t.  In the end, those suspicious packages turned out to be a homeless person’s belongings that had flown into traffic on a windy day.  What folks would complain about and mutter about under their breath as they drove around a few years ago is now cause to halt traffic on Chicago’s main north/south thoroughfare.

So why am I writing about terrorism when this was clearly a mistake — a collision of Mother Nature’s wind and homelessness?

Because in those moments sitting in my car I didn’t know that.  Because as someone somewhere in Chicago’s public safety department made the decision to close down Lake Shore Drive, they didn’t know that.  Because as those first responders sent in a robot to investigate a possible explosive device, they didn’t know that.  In those moments, it could have been terrorism and it was treated as such.

This is the world we live in now, folks.  Yesterday a blogging friend in Boston wrote about how she watched some yahoo carry another backpack to the Boston Marathon finish line — the guy walked right past she and her family.  Today I get caught in a parking lot on Lake Shore Drive.

This is because of the threat of terrorism.  In America.  Today.

It is real and it is now the life we live.  Today it looked like this.

What the threat of terrorism looked like in Chicago today.
What the threat of terrorism looked like in Chicago today.

Muddy Shoes

Monday was kind of a glorious day in Chicago.  Over sixty degrees and holding a whisper of warmth to come.  Like a movie trailer to the upcoming season, rated G for giddy.  The snow that started accumulating in December and just never left, well, it finally did.  Poof.  Gone.  All that remains of it are the photos and traumatic flashbacks, er, memories I mean.

We had a late afternoon play date at the local park with friends.  This is one of those good old fashioned parks with wood chips under your feet instead of odd rubber recycled stuff.  The trees are still naked and the grass is still brown, recuperating.  Children and adults alike looked happy and relaxed.  It was lovely.

This was my first time at the park with both boys since last fall.  Man, I was shocked by how much Mary Tyler Son has changed.  I don’t know if it was just being cooped up all winter or that his friend was there and he was feeling adventurous, but he was more physical than I had ever seen him.  Zipping in and out of the wooden fortresses, dodging from view more often than made me comfortable.  I was grateful for the bright green jacket he was wearing — easier to spot in the sea of kiddos.

At one point, he jetted off.  Running, running, running — away, away, away.  He went far enough that I thought it necessary to shout his name out.  He couldn’t hear.  That boy was busy, and it was clear he had an agenda.  I chased after him, Mary Tyler Baby in tow.  I finally found him about eight feet off the ground, climbing a tree.  Man, what a sight to see.

This was the same tree I remember him trying to climb last fall and feeling intimidated by it.  Pffft.  There was no intimidation Monday afternoon.  My boy conquered that tree.  He looked fearless and happy and free.  He needed a scolding for running away without telling me, “But I told my friend,” he said.  I didn’t have it in me.  I was too busy standing back and seeing my boy for the boy he was growing into.  A more adventurous boy, a climbing boy, a monkey swinging from vines kind of boy.

Glorious.

That is the boy I want to encourage.  That freedom in movement, that joy in play, that satisfaction in conquering trees.  I don’t take any of that for granted.  Each milestone my boy reaches is another milestone I reach as his parent.  Each thing Mary Tyler Son grows into is something his older sister never got to do.  I revel in that just as I imagine Donna does, too, somewhere.

Tonight, up late after crashing early, I found myself doing the things I wished I had done earlier — the dishes, sorting laundry, getting a few things settled for the morning rush.  I found Mary Tyler Son’s muddy shoes at the back door.  I meant to clean them yesterday, but didn’t get to it.  There they sat, at the back door, just where he took them off Monday afternoon.

Muddy Shoes

Muddy shoes.

As I reached for the cloth to clean them a bit so he could wear them to school tomorrow (am I the only Mom who cleans her son’s muddy shoes?), there was a gut check, visceral, about just how lucky I am to clean the muddy shoes of a healthy, thriving, joyful five year old boy.  I am the mom of a boy who runs and climbs trees and brushes the hair from his eyes as he looks to the next higher branch.

This boy is going places and I get to watch him.  And clean the mud from his shoes.  And choose to cheer him on rather than scold him.

Is there anything better?

Ode to Katy

Sometimes, on this here Internet, you find a fellow human that just gets it, gets you, and a kinship develops — sometimes one sided, sometimes mutual.  When you’re really lucky, you develop a friendship with that person.  And when you’re really, really lucky, you realize you live oh, just about 15 minutes away in city traffic.

That’s how I feel about Katy from I Want a Dumpster Baby.

Katy makes my life better.  I read her words and I want to be better, you know?  It’s hard to explain without gushing, so if I gush, indulge me, please.

On Monday, Katy posted this brilliance about winter and why she loves it and why she fears the spring, the lengthening days, the light.  I read it and was immediately texting dear Katy telling her, “I get it, but I have the exact opposite affliction — I want to help you like you helped me this winter.”

Fangirl.  Pffft.

See, I dread the winters.  Dread them.  I mostly find the holidays oppressive with the message to be HAPPY HAPPY and only feel JOY JOY.  Ugh. I cope alright, cause I gots the coping skillz to pay the billz, but it’s pretty much with lots and lots of effort on my part.  I do a secret happy dance for myself at the winter solstice, as even though it is the official beginning of my most dreaded season, every day I know, because science tells me so, that there will be a few more seconds of day light.  Those seconds add up to minutes through January, and by February, those minutes morph into almost an hour of extra light.

In those dark days of winter, Katy pops up into my newsfeed on Facebook, waxing poetic about slushy snow and furry boots and feeling snug as a bug on a cold winter’s night, happily eating pie in her bed.

Chicago is on the tail end of a brutal winter.  Brutal.  Third snowiest on record.  There were cold days and ice days and pneumonia days.  Ugh.  But there was Katy, lovely Katy, shining brighter than any June sun, extolling the virtue of this winter that was pummeling all around us.  She was the tonic I needed.

Photo courtesy of I Want a Dumpster Baby
Photo courtesy of I Want a Dumpster Baby

I could not help but learn to appreciate what she saw, see the beauty in that relentless snow, feel the gratitude for an unexpected day of cancelled school and consider myself lucky that I had everything I needed right at home with no need to do anything other than appreciate the opportunity to be together.

When I would feel myself get pulled into the dark, which, yes, is easy for me to do from November through February, I would call Katy up in my thoughts and remember her words, her joy, her appreciation of beauty when others dwelled on the negative.

It’s all about perspective.

Katy and I both struggle.  Those struggles are the trademark of our respective blogs, and I think, maybe, why we have some significant reader crossover.  Katy’s honesty about her struggles are part of the reason I both adore and admire her.

While our struggles are different, we approach them similarly.  Chin up, forward momentum, and bed pie as needed.  No shame, feel the feelings fully, and bed pie as needed.  Truth and gratitude and bed pie as needed.  Ha!

Now that winter is lifting, despite the six inches of heavy white snow that fell last night in Chicago, I feel the lift of spring in the air.  There is relief, palpable relief on my part, that another winter is almost in the books.  Whew.  I feel such gratitude to this Katy girl that helped me more than she can ever realize just by shining her light for others to see and bask in.

Thank you, Katy!

But now, though her words, I know that Katy is reaching a vulnerable time of year.  The light I crave means something completely different for me than it does her.  The fangirl in me hopes against hope that I can now carry the torch of optimism and glee that Katy carried so beautifully all winter and that guided me here, to the cusp of spring, intact, faking it until I actually made it.

Girl, I got this.

The Spring light is amazing — clear, fresh, intense, vibrant, bright. The color of the sky is different in April and May than it is in January or July. The light and changing green on the trees is more brilliant on that first day you look up from your winter stupor and realize that, yes, those green things on the branches are leaves that have indeed returned.

Spring is a beautiful and profound and sacred return.  It is confirmation that light and warmth follow cold and dark.  Always.  Spring is our annual reward and promise as human beings that things do, in fact, get better, even in nature.  As a family who has buried one of our children, this promised and expected annual return to life and growth and hope is so very needed.

Long story short, if I am doing my mothering job properly, Mary Tyler Son will some day come to recognize and appreciate the glory of Spring himself.  He will teach his own children to love the light, trust the warmth, and plant those bulbs.  He will know that life is universal and that its cyclical nature is confirmation of something to be celebrated.

Katy and I are yin and yang, chocolate and peanut butter, Lucy and Ethel (and we all know who Lucy is in this equation) — all those things are pretty damn amazing on their own, but together — KAPOW, KABLAMMO, BINGO!  Friendship is awesome.

Thank you, Katy, for buzzing around me all winter’s long, guiding me safely to the comfort of spring.  Thank you for walking the path you walk (in heels, too, dammit) and inviting so many of us to walk it with you.  Thank you for your sheer and powerful gratitude and dorkitude.  Thank you for your wisdom and red lipstick.  Thank you for your honesty and sincerity.

I love you, girl.  More than you know.  Probably more than is healthy, but shush, not in a weird way, but in a perfectly acceptable ‘grateful you are in my orbit’ kind of way.

Thanks for seeing me though this winter.  I’ve got this torch now, come spring, just look for the light — it will be there.

xox

Katy knows this well.
Katy knows this well.