Author: Sheila Quirke

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Oreos v. Breasts: Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk

Oreos

I saw this advertisement yesterday on some media outlet and didn’t think a thing of it.  Today, it is causing an uproar all over the Internet and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.

There are three elements here:  a breast, a baby, and an Oreo.  Most offensive to me is the Oreo, as I was never a big fan, but you know, to each her own.  If this baby were holding a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, I probably would have made it my profile photo on facebook.

Why are we as Americans still hung up on this?  A breast is a thing of beauty. But more than that, it is a functional part of a woman’s body, existing to provide nutrition to our babies.

I raised two babies and opted to breastfeed both of them.  There was an immense sense of pride and wonder and power and accomplishment and love I felt in seeing my little six and seven pound babies grow and develop in their first months knowing that all of that was made possible because of me.

There is nothing to be ashamed of here, folks.  Move along.  Breastfeeding is a gift for those of us who can do it, or choose to do it.  My full thoughts about breastfeeding are HERE.

Here is a selection of censored images on the web.  I prefer the star, myself. Which is your favorite?

Pixels
Star
Black Box
Double Black Box

Now I need to go get a peanut butter cup.  With a glass of milk.

 

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Take time to smell the dandelions.

Two dandelions

In many ways, Mary Tyler Dad is a better parent than I am.  He has a capacity to be with Mary Tyler Son and not feel pressured by the dirty dishes or the laundry or the piles of toys that have migrated out of the playroom and into the living room, bedroom, bathroom, closet, etc.  I fully get that what I just wrote sounds a bit like a backhanded compliment, but it’s not.  It is full on compliment.  When my two boys are together, they are together.  Really together.  Not distracted by screens or Blackberries or household chores. 

I feel eternally distracted around the boy when at home.  It’s why I plan activities out of the house for us when I am with him alone the days I don’t work at the office.  I am a way better parent looking for spiders at the Botanic Gardens or milking cows at Wagner Farm or wondering at jellyfish at the aquarium or even shopping for groceries and marveling at the dead fish for sale behind the glass counter.  Distractions have been removed.  No screens, no laundry, no dinner, no blog to write, no facebook to check, no mess to clean up.  Just me and my boy, having another adventure in the world. 

I think Mary Tyler Son knows this about his parents.  It’s why nine times out of ten he wants to play with Dad at 6:00 AM instead of me.  It makes me feel selfish and small and guilty as hell.  But I don’t mind crowds and events as much as Mary Tyler Dad, who would be perfectly content to take the kid to the park every day as his outing.  It’s our parenting yin and yang, and for the most part, it works. 

On Monday, I had a fundraising meeting way out in the suburbs.  It was with other moms, so we planned to meet at a cafe and play type place.  It was good — coffee and caffeine for the moms and lots of amusements for the little ones.  Our sons played while we planned.  I teased Mary Tyler Son mercilessly on the drive out, telling him the place we were going was called NAP-erville and that there was a town rule that all children had to sleep the whole time they were there.  He had giggle fits with this idea.  Scheduling worked out fairly well until I realized I had nothing to serve for dinner and needed to stop at a grocery before home.  Strategically I reviewed the pros and cons and decided to shop in the suburbs in case Mary Tyler Son fell asleep on the long drive home.  Nothing worse that waking up from a sound snooze and having your mom drag you into a grocery store to buy onions. 

With groceries quickly bought and settling in for the hour drive home, I knew my mom mission was to keep the kid awake to preserve his nap time at home in a proper bed rather than in a car seat.  We weren’t far off, but cutting it awful close.  I used my most animated voice to announce a new game — The Question Game was born.  For about forty-five minutes I shot questions to the boy for him to answer.  He surprised me with his responses.  Here are just some of the things I learned:

  • He would rather eat Rice Krispies than anything else for breakfast, lunch, and dinner;
  • Given the choice of visiting anywhere in the world, he would choose the Shedd Aquarium;
  • The flower he will give all future romantic interests will be the dandelion; and
  • When taking a trip around the world, his preferred mode of transport would be the rocket ship.

We had fun.  The lack of distractions allowed us to just be together.  I like my kid.  He is smart, clever, silly, naughty, witty.  Plus, he has the best hair ever.  And the Question Game worked, as he nodded off just ten minutes from home and transferred like a champ, for another 90 minutes of peace in his bed.

Yesterday, we were walking home from the babysitter and Mary Tyler Son noticed all the seeded dandelions sprouting up.  The gorgeous, fluffy kind.  I saw them because he showed them to me.  I saw them and realized that, yeah, the dandelion is a beauty, in both its forms.  It’s yellow is floral sunshine and it’s delicate seeds creating the fluffy globe effect are gorgeous, in their own way.

I’m grateful to have a kid to help me connect to the wonder that is all around us.  Too often it gets lost in the noise and the chaos of life.  Sometimes I think that because I will always and forever have a four year old daughter, I will always and forever be open to that wonder that our kids connect with so easily.  I hope so.  Geez, it’s the least the Universe could do for me. 

So rather than hurry home and think about folding the laundry or cooking dinner, Mary Tyler Son and I took our sweet time enjoying those dandelions.  He picked four — two for me and two for him.  He made the most hilarious faces, looking like the Big Bad Wolf trying to blow those seeds off their stem.  It took a while, but he got every last one.  When his were finished, he asked for mine.  When those were done, he asked for a vase for the stems.  And that vase sits on the kitchen counter surrounded by last night’s dishes that didn’t get done.  Laundry is still unfolded, too.  I might get to it tonight.  I might not.  Depends on what adventures are in store for my boy and I.

Blowing the dandelion

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Ladybugs are a Good Thing.

Atia as Ladybug

Three years ago today, a little ladybug of a girl was diagnosed with leukemia.  Just 17 months old at the time, Atia went through two years of aggressive daily chemotherapy.  Gratefully, Atia’s treatments worked.  Today she is an active four year old, busy with school, gymnastics, soccer, ballet and jazz.

Atia’s mom, Laura, a fellow ChicagoNow blogger, could have easily called it a day and worked hard to forget the nightmare that is pediatric cancer.  She herself is a survivor and I believe wholeheartedly that no one would have thought anything about the family moving forward, doing their best to leave Cancerville in the rearview mirror.

Laura didn’t do that.

During frequent hospital stays at Comer Children’s Hospital at the University of Chicago, Laura saw that not all children had the resources that Atia had.  Many, many families go through the burden of pediatric cancer only to face the additional burden of financing it.  Think about that.  Can you imagine worrying about how you would pay for your child’s cancer treatment?  Oy.

Laura could imagine it, as she saw it unfold throughout Atia’s treatment.  Wanting to help those families needing it the most, as well as the children facing grueling treatments like her daughter. Laura wanted to help.  She is a fierce Cancer Mom.  Out of that witnessing and wanting to do, Atia’s Project Ladybug Fund was formed.

On Thursday, May 17, Atia’s Project Ladybug will be hosting their 2nd Annual Ladybug Bash, with a Stars and Cars theme.  This is the non-profit’s primary fundraiser and  enables them to  provide some of the following:

  • emergency funding to offset the cost of emergency transportation, rent, groceries, utilities, and other basics of day-to-day like for pediatric cancer families, many of whom lose income revenue if one parent quits their job to care for their child;
  • Ladybug Love for the Holidays, providing gifts to Comer patients and their siblings;
  • Ladybug Comfort Baskets, that are received during early hospital admissions; and
  • Ladybug Lunches for pediatric cancer families.

To honor the 3rd anniversary of Atia’s diagnosis today, Atia’s Project Ladybug Fund is trying to sell 184 tickets to the event — one ticket each for the number of children that would have been diagnosed with cancer on April 17, 2010, 2011, and 2012.  I like that.  Guests will enjoy an evening of cocktails, food tastings, a fashion show, and musical entertainment in the “Ladybug Lounge.”

Here’s a great news clip from earlier this week about Atia’s Project Ladybug Fund and the Ladybug Bash:http://www.cltv.com/blogs/living-healthy-chicago/wgntv-atias-project-ladybug-fund-20120412,0,475698.story

You can purchase a ticket and get all the details on the posh event here:http://ladybugbash.charityhappenings.org/

And for all those Real Housewife fans out there, Dina Manzo, the founder of Project Ladybug and original New Jersey Real Housewife, will be there bringing the bling.

I love a happy ending!